How weird are these two internal reserves in Albion? I don't know who designed Albion but I like it.


Business as usual

I don't update anymore because I can't think of anything to write. It's a bad habit but whatever.

Life has shifted from grim to just annoying. I feel like I thought myself out of existence for six months and now I'm back and catching up on everything. It is difficult to feel motivated in doing so when I am weighed down/disillusioned by dual burdens of health and broader societal ills

I have been listening to this album a lot - reminds me of summer 2005 when it came out and I started year 10. Weird to think how much has changed in the past decade because it feels like nothing has happened at all.

My other go-to song right now is Hotel California but I'm not even going to try and explain that



Picture unrelated - I just think it's nice. Blog is quiet because nothing interesting is happening aside from having over 15,000 words of good writing for my thesis (so cutting out that 5,000 surplus is going to be a horrible process), and also I got my diagnosis (finally) and have hypermobility syndrome or Ehlers Danlos Hypermobility type depending on who you ask. "That's so boring" you think and I agree - sorry - but at least it explains why I have felt so horrid lately and haven't really left the house at all (see: blog is quiet).

I have an intensive subject this week which involves a trip to Port Fairy. I am worried that it might be too much for me (physically/mentally) but I am hopeful that it will be OK. Good thing I like rural towns and muttonbirds

Egg is very missed. The house feels empty. I am looking forward to holidays so I can process everything that has happened since October without the distraction of uni work

Also hi to new reader Isaac, I hope New York is treating you well, I am following your blog


Giant sandwich

A giant sandwich in Sunshine



This is such a nothing post, so sorry in advance, but I was just briefly bemused by the ever-changing boundaries of the Footscray electorate (this nifty map is courtesy of the VEC and I found it while checking my enrolment details). I like how the electorate was first defined by the Newport-Sunshine freight railway, then Kororoit Creek, and now the Western Ring Road. I would speculate on this being symbolic of the value each feature has (as a place-defining/distinguishing characteristic or landmark) but I'm sure the real explanation is a lot less interesting i.e. redistribution in accordance with population change.

Also interesting to see that the electorate once included the escarpment south of RVE. I wonder why they changed it - anticipated development? RVE was meant to include the escarpment (in the original master plans anyway) so maybe they didn't want to forcibly divide the estate in this way?


Vale Egg

Egg was put to sleep on Monday afternoon after a short struggle with effusive FIP. We found out on Thursday after the vet performed an ultrasound and located a large amount of fluid around her lungs and liver. She was 11 months old and her 1st birthday would've been on the 2nd of November.

We will remember her forever as our puppy cat. The first skill she mastered was fetching a paper ball, although most of the time she would get distracted while carrying it back. She was obsessed with our socks, and would steal them and drag them away to her 'nest' in the bathroom (which eventually came to include t-shirts once she got big enough to carry them). Sometimes she was a little jerk - she would attack my hair and feet if she wanted me to wake up - but most of the time she was lovely. My favourite thing about her was her chattiness: if I meowed at her, she would most definitely meow back, and we would have entire conversations which would usually end with her sitting on me purring. I have so many fond memories of her that these examples don't even begin to describe how good she was.

Everyone who met her loved her and I am thankful for that.

The past week has been extremely difficult. I feel angry, dissociated, incredibly depressed and, at times, completely devoid of emotion. Josh is the same, so at least I'm not alone in this, but the emotional toll is huge. Monday gave some sense of closure but I still wish I had somebody to blame. I think my feeling of injustice is amplified because of our recent health issues - it isn't fair.

Being faced with mortality is a strange feeling. In light of death, everything seems stupid and trivial. I hope this feeling goes away soon.

We retrieved her from the vet last night and the vet nurse I spoke with was the first staff member we saw when Egg got her vaccinations as a baby kitten. He cried and then I cried.

Egg was buried in the garden in Melton at sunset. The sky was filled with bushfire smoke which turned the sun a bright orange. We planted jasmine on her grave. Afterwards my parents picked some lavender and rosemary for us and my dad showed us his bees and we ate wild strawberries. It was nice to be surrounded by life (even if it was just insects and plants, and Charles lurking in the background/rolling in dirt) in such a sad time.

There is more I could say but I'm not sure what. I just miss her a lot. Poor Egg.


Egg is sick

Egg, as in our kitten and not an actual egg, got real fussy about food last week and went off her food entirely a few days ago. We took her to the vet and they said she's 1.2 kg underweight for a cat her age, so clearly something is wrong. She has been acting completely fine/normal apart from not eating, although she is quite lethargic and just sleeps all the time (just like me!). We are awaiting blood test results and she looks very sad with part of her neck shaven and bruised. The vet said her lymph nodes are enlarged and that it could be FIP which I really don't want to think about. I hope it is something relatively benign in comparison i.e. cat diabetes (which would of course be bad, but not fatal/incurable). She seems very sad and is just loafing on the ground although she ate the smallest piece of turkey and some butter before (which got stuck in her fur so she smells like a croissant now). I hope she will be OK


30 Sept quarry visit

I was planning on observing in the morning but my allergies were terrible. By the time they subsided the rain began so I left after the worst of it - I figured that I probably wouldn't see anyone, and at best, I could argue that informal use is linked to weather (i.e. a nice day will attract more people).

4:15 pm: Nothing is happening and nobody is here. The weather is horrendous, overcast and windy. A barrier has been placed along Halong Drive where it meets the roundabout/dead-end - this is new, since it wasn't there when I last visited. I wonder why they've done this (whoever 'they' are) and what impact this will have on passive surveillance by residents who choose to enter/exit RVE the long way.

4:21 pm: Aside from the barrier, the other difference worth noting is that all the empty blocks and nature strips have been covered in roll-out turf. I knew something looked a bit odd when I drove in, so I checked with my photos from Sunday to confirm.

4:34 pm: Still nothing, still cold (and now rainy), and no cars coming through.

4:46 pm: It is so quiet that a family of magpies has emerged to feed from the newly rolled-out turf. A large group of cockatoos have taken over the dying tree adjacent to the quarry lake.

4:49 pm: A young male in a silver sedan drives past and does a complete loop at the roundabout before returning uphill. He slowed down when passing my car and looked at me. Is his preferred route home now blocked or did he have other plans? I wonder if my presence alarmed him.

4:52 pm: Quiet again.

4:59 pm: Still nothing - boring. I just noticed that the roundabout sign has been vandalised since my last visit.

5:00 pm: Spoke too soon - a tiny silver-blue hatchback has arrived. The car is quite new and there is a couple inside who look somewhat professional. I expected them to be alarmed by the roadblock and drive back uphill but they parked next to the roundabout.

5:02 pm: Hatchback people have not yet exited the vehicle. I don't blame them because the weather is cold.

5:03 pm: The driver of the hatchback exits the vehicle and goes to the boot. I'm thinking he could be here to dump rubbish but instead he grabs one of those silver foil sunshade things and tries to place it in the rear window of the car. He seems really annoyed that it won't stay in place - I assume he/the passenger don't want to be seen inside the car.

5:05 pm: After much fussing, the sun shade is in place and he has returned to the vehicle. I've heard the area is commonly used as a 'lover's lane' (which is probably the strangest facet of car culture and something I think would be interesting to explore in future research) and I guess this is proof of it. I'm kind of amazed that they're willing to do this in relatively 'dangerous' place.

5:10 pm: Quiet again. I'm mostly bird-watching now since nothing else is happening. The magpies accepted a magpie lark into their fold and they're all walking around together, while five cockatoos have congregated on a single dead plant.

5:13 pm: Old man in a silver BMW* drives through, does a full loop of the roundabout, and slowly drives back uphill - again, is this because of the new barrier blocking Halong Drive?

5:15 pm: L-plater in a 4WD drives through and around the roundabout. I learned how to drive here as well, and I've seen a few other learners around here, so it must be a known spot for locals. The couple are still there but I'm not going to stick around and make the situation more awkward so it's time to go home.

*I later saw this car parked outside a house under construction near the entrance to RVE so the driver must have been checking out something (quarry? Progress of construction?)

Took this when leaving, looks pretty useless to me but what do I know about barriers

Bad photo but cool bird tree

Baby magpie and older magpie near my car